E3 Day 1 Video wrap-up

So, I made this video, which certainly took longer than writing would have, but that particular voice was broken, so I went with this. It's poorly edited, I say "like" and "uhh" a lot, and the fucking YouTube page doesn't have any info on it because it's god damn 2:30am and I need some sleep. There's also probably lip-smacking noises because I've been drinking. Whatever. I hope the following at least makes some sense. Footage of things starts at about 2:30 if you don't like my voice. Until Day Two:

I'm getting the impression that the last bit was slightly incomprehensible. All I was attempting to say (in my own drunken way) was that the PS4's concern for its audience is indicative of a larger movement in consumer products sector. A movement defined by a consumer base that won't have products shoved down its throat, but that dictates those products through effective use of social media. So: Millennials don't put with any shit. Sleep now. Why did the video feel like it needed to take so long to render/upload? Oh, right. Macbook's are evil.



Also, here's the Reddit roundup for E3 2013, Day 1:

E3 2013 Coverage: EA Conference wrap-up.

This EA thing is late and brief, as I honestly enjoyed Ubisoft’s presentation more in spite of its regurgitation of repellent words like “connectivity” and “friends.” And yes, not just because of Aisha Tyler, though she’s a far better hype (wo)man than a fat, middle aged white guy with no social skills. But let’s try to stay on topic.

EA loves them some fake applause. And with good reason. There was little applause coming from the audience. There’s this really weird movement that’s been knocking around social networking and forums lately, that seems to state that those at a reveal conference shouldn’t applaud as it shows some sort of weakness to The Beast, and I just can’t get on board with that. If I see a game reveal that blows my skirt up I will - in spite of my cynicism - put both my hands together in the oddest of human traditions. I don’t know if this phenomenon was responsible for the lack of audible hand-on-hand action from the audience at the EA conference, but such a shortcoming made the entire affair noticeably awkward. 

It was so bad, in fact, that during Bruce Buffer’s introduction of UFC people I’ve never heard of or care about they actually piped in fake applause through the sound system. This was representative of the entire EA sports reveal, and what I feel will be the defining ethos of this entire E3. These are industry people, those watching the feeds are huge fans, and there will be hell to pay if the upgrades to a game are strictly aesthetic. We'd like true innovation. Not later. Now.

In other news, paltry asides like Drake’s presence the term “realistic ball handling” trended on twitter for a while, and Battlefield 4’s 64 person multiplayer looks good if not another case of “bigger and better but not substantively different.”

Then they showed 30 seconds of Mirror’s Edge 2 and I came a little bit. As I’ve mentioned before, I fucking love that game. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to come up with some sort of cogent analysis of the Ubisoft conference while I stroke it to this trailer... Again. At least EA gave me something I wanted.

E3 2013 Coverage: Xbox conference wrap-up.

As I mentioned, this isn’t going to be strictly a news update thing, because that’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. Just slightly buzzed commentary, as I’ve been playing the most dangerous game since the beginning of the Microsoft press event.

The following was announced at the end of Microsoft’s Xbox conference, and is fresh in my mind/the most important aspect of this whole thing: $500 fucking dollars?! I can put together a passable gaming rig for that much. That won’t watch me while I masturbate on my couch. With the mayonnaise. Because I can’t be bothered to stand up and it was already on my coffee table. I don’t need to explain myself to you. 

In the Matrix, everyone sees you fap.

In spite of their insistence that this whole thing is “about the gamers,” (a point they attempted to drive home more than once) a $500 console that requires a persistent high speed internet connection and a yearly service fee separates a lot of gamers from their chosen pastime should they decide to go with Microsoft. But, gaming is an expensive hobby. As much as it sucks, many people are left out in the cold with old tech because of this fact. So I’m not going to harp on it. After all, we live in a world where people ride the bus to a job at McDonald’s rocking a $600 smart phone.

As to the rest of the conference: They have a couple of good exclusives. But - and here’s the important part - not great exclusives. The only hope Microsoft had to overcome the recent PR gangbang that has surely increased the company's interest in acquisition of KY was to hit the stage today with the most amazing titles they could possibly come up with. What did they show?

A sequel to a increasing dated genre title whose flower has blossomed (Dead Rising 3), a remake of a 2-D fighter that I’ll regret not being able to play as I’m not buying an Xbone (Killer Instinct), and Spark, which, while interesting, I’ll need to know more about to pass judgement. New Halo? Meh, Bungie’s taking their new IP to PS4 in the form of Destiny. Titanfall doesn’t look bad, I genuinely want to play it, but it’s another FPS on the FPS console. It’s nothing groundbreaking, and nothing that breaks the mold for Xbox. 

And if they ever needed to break the mold, now is the time. We’re stepping into a whole new world of gaming in the coming months and years, and not just because of new consoles, but fresh tech like the Oculus Rift. First person shooters on a game console that doubles as a Big Brotherian cable box hardly resemble the forward thinking technology that gains traction in 2013. Or what consumers want. All Microsoft really managed to do with that conference was reinforce the position that they're not going to give the consumers what they want, but tell the consumers what they're getting. An increasingly dangerous business model for a consumer product company.

More as it happens today. There’s a bunch of footage being piped in from Gametrailers, an EA conference in a little under an hour, and a fuck-ton of already released info to digest. My twitter feed (which is 95% game related) is starting to stress me out. I’m also two beers and one shot into my drinking day, and not smoking for the duration has gone out of the window. The corporate greed and PR verbiage is already driving me to the brink. I’ll try to maintain, but only for you, dear reader. I hope you appreciate that. I could go mad.

Once more unto the breach.

E3 2013 Coverage Overview /or/ Drink my way through E3 Part I.

Blog below, but here are all the relevant links so you can keep on top of today’s press conferences and coverage:

E3 Official: http://www.e3insider.com/press-conferences/

Game Trailers E3 coverage: http://www.gametrailers.com/e3

My twitter feed... Do it: https://twitter.com/DrNed

My friend Jeff Grubb is boots on the ground at E3: https://twitter.com/JeffGrubb

It’s that time again. Time to have staggeringly repetitious corporate-ese shoved down our ear holes. Time to begin waiting impatiently for debuted games that won’t release for a further three years. Time to wonder at the top of our lungs (or caps lock keys) how the fuck Microsoft fell so far off the wagon. Time to use alcohol and the ensuing drunk as a coping mechanism. Time for E3, ladies and gentlemen.

So, here’s the deal: I know the blogs have been a little scant lately. Can’t be helped, I’m working on a number of huge projects and the concept of stopping for even a moment feels like a defeat. So I haven’t stopped, haven’t blogged. For that I’m sorry. But there will be E3 coverage here... Well, not coverage as much as drunken, possibly angry, possibly starry-eyed analysis of big announcements. Also some small announcements if I think they’re important enough/hilarious.

To that end, this is how it’ll work. I’m going to upload either written or recorded commentary all day on the front page of the blog, I’ll be hurling brain feces at your screen near constantly from my twitter feed, and I’ll do and end of day wrap up (again either recorded or written... though my speech may be slurred by that point). All of the preceding will be filled to the brim with relevant news/video links.

Now, to my drinking: There will be some. Audio logs might be a bit slurred. Words might be missing from sentences. Video editing might be nonsensical to the point of bordering on a Tool video from 1995. Jokes, however, might be hilarious. We won’t know until we get there, will we? Join me, won’t you? 

It’s time to drink our way through E3.