E3 Day 1 Video wrap-up

So, I made this video, which certainly took longer than writing would have, but that particular voice was broken, so I went with this. It's poorly edited, I say "like" and "uhh" a lot, and the fucking YouTube page doesn't have any info on it because it's god damn 2:30am and I need some sleep. There's also probably lip-smacking noises because I've been drinking. Whatever. I hope the following at least makes some sense. Footage of things starts at about 2:30 if you don't like my voice. Until Day Two:

I'm getting the impression that the last bit was slightly incomprehensible. All I was attempting to say (in my own drunken way) was that the PS4's concern for its audience is indicative of a larger movement in consumer products sector. A movement defined by a consumer base that won't have products shoved down its throat, but that dictates those products through effective use of social media. So: Millennials don't put with any shit. Sleep now. Why did the video feel like it needed to take so long to render/upload? Oh, right. Macbook's are evil.



Also, here's the Reddit roundup for E3 2013, Day 1:

E3 2013 Coverage: Xbox conference wrap-up.

As I mentioned, this isn’t going to be strictly a news update thing, because that’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. Just slightly buzzed commentary, as I’ve been playing the most dangerous game since the beginning of the Microsoft press event.

The following was announced at the end of Microsoft’s Xbox conference, and is fresh in my mind/the most important aspect of this whole thing: $500 fucking dollars?! I can put together a passable gaming rig for that much. That won’t watch me while I masturbate on my couch. With the mayonnaise. Because I can’t be bothered to stand up and it was already on my coffee table. I don’t need to explain myself to you. 

In the Matrix, everyone sees you fap.

In spite of their insistence that this whole thing is “about the gamers,” (a point they attempted to drive home more than once) a $500 console that requires a persistent high speed internet connection and a yearly service fee separates a lot of gamers from their chosen pastime should they decide to go with Microsoft. But, gaming is an expensive hobby. As much as it sucks, many people are left out in the cold with old tech because of this fact. So I’m not going to harp on it. After all, we live in a world where people ride the bus to a job at McDonald’s rocking a $600 smart phone.

As to the rest of the conference: They have a couple of good exclusives. But - and here’s the important part - not great exclusives. The only hope Microsoft had to overcome the recent PR gangbang that has surely increased the company's interest in acquisition of KY was to hit the stage today with the most amazing titles they could possibly come up with. What did they show?

A sequel to a increasing dated genre title whose flower has blossomed (Dead Rising 3), a remake of a 2-D fighter that I’ll regret not being able to play as I’m not buying an Xbone (Killer Instinct), and Spark, which, while interesting, I’ll need to know more about to pass judgement. New Halo? Meh, Bungie’s taking their new IP to PS4 in the form of Destiny. Titanfall doesn’t look bad, I genuinely want to play it, but it’s another FPS on the FPS console. It’s nothing groundbreaking, and nothing that breaks the mold for Xbox. 

And if they ever needed to break the mold, now is the time. We’re stepping into a whole new world of gaming in the coming months and years, and not just because of new consoles, but fresh tech like the Oculus Rift. First person shooters on a game console that doubles as a Big Brotherian cable box hardly resemble the forward thinking technology that gains traction in 2013. Or what consumers want. All Microsoft really managed to do with that conference was reinforce the position that they're not going to give the consumers what they want, but tell the consumers what they're getting. An increasingly dangerous business model for a consumer product company.

More as it happens today. There’s a bunch of footage being piped in from Gametrailers, an EA conference in a little under an hour, and a fuck-ton of already released info to digest. My twitter feed (which is 95% game related) is starting to stress me out. I’m also two beers and one shot into my drinking day, and not smoking for the duration has gone out of the window. The corporate greed and PR verbiage is already driving me to the brink. I’ll try to maintain, but only for you, dear reader. I hope you appreciate that. I could go mad.

Once more unto the breach.

Irish Coffee - Microsoft, you dumb bastards.

I'm back baby! Slightly different stuff in the title. There's a date stamp on these things anyway. Don't know why I was typing it in manually like an old lady that licks a stamp and pastes it to her monitor before she sends an email. I was in New Orleans last weekend for a bachelor party, and, well... It was something of an event. I've only just regained my faculties (they're at about 72% charge), and the emotional damage is probably permanent, but whatever. Good times, good people, lots of alcohol. Now back to the video games. I'm going to yell at Microsoft again, because it's just so god damned easy lately.

This might sound a little unprofessional: Ahhh hahah hahah! Hahhhhh! hah! You dumb bastards!

In an attempt to yet again prove how detached they've become from the “core game market” they thought they had a grasp on and so desperately need on their side after over a week of bad press, Microsoft has officially announced that they’ll spend $1 billion on games for their next-gen, weaponized, TV stand.

I mean look at it! You could beat a man to death with the Kinect alone.

While I haven't any moral qualms with throwing money at a problem like a trust fund baby that just found a dead hooker in the trunk of his car, the real issue here is Microsoft’s industry viability moving forward. First off, one billion dollars in the scope of modern AAA development doesn’t go a long way. Modern Warfare 3 spent $300 million, all told, after an absurdly expensive advertising campaign. Granted, it’s actual budget was only $100 million, but even at that comparatively bargain basement rate, Microsoft’s big number announcement will only pay for 10 games. Hardly impressive for the life of the console.

But let’s say the money is spread out a bit. Drop money on indie titles. The kind of art house games that give the industry some much needed set dressing. Granted, it’s a bit like putting roses on the hood of a tank, but it’s better than nothing (and a topic for another day). Microsoft has certainly made it clear that their focus isn’t indie gaming. Meanwhile, Sony courts indie devs left and right, providing them with a friendlier environment. Even if Microsoft would like to get some indie devs back on their side, it’ll be quite a while before we’ll see a company-wide change in policy - such as allowing indies to self-publish on the Big Black Bocks -  significant enough to draw indie studios back to the dark side.  

"Did I say 'zero creative freedom?' I meant 'All the money. Ever.'"

Plus, indie devs are a temperamental lot, and will not work in a close minded, creatively limiting environment. “Give me money, let me make my game, leave me the fuck alone and you’ll get it when it’s done,” seems to be their mentality, and one of which Sony seems keenly aware. Also, one I can get behind. Microsoft has said recently that they’re going to have indie support on their console, but it’s clearly not a focus, and clearly not a large portion of that Big Shiny Number they put up today. Unless they want to come out and say otherwise. Until now, it's a vague "yes" that fades into cacophonous repetition of words like "integration" and "experience," and announcements that center around massive AAA titles.

Microsoft is definitely a company that pushes hard for the Bro Gamer portion of the market, and this was made no more evident than in their reveal last week. The only games shown were sports titles and Call of Duty, the only games on the beer-soaked TV stand at the average frat house. [Source: I used to sell weed to frat boys.]

Microsoft can lightly dance around this subject all they want, but everyone knows exactly what to expect. No amount of “yes, we’ll support indie devs” is going to change the reality of your big E3 “game” conference. It’s going to come up wanting. There is no way that any number of AAA titles being presented are going to outdo what we’ve seen from the more powerful and game-oriented PS4, nor are you going to convince anyone that the primary focus of the Xbone is "game console "when you came out of the gate waving your “media center” sword and screaming about integration like a prophet that stepped out of a time machine from 2006 having not realized he’d gone forward in time instead of back.

Microsoft, you've had every opportunity to make this just a little bit about video games, video gamers, and video game creators, but you've decided to dodge questions like the most teeth-grindingly frustrating of politicians and alienate the people that built the popularity of your console in the first place. (Oh the irony of mentioning that the Halo franchise built the Xbox while announcing a TV show version of it. It'd be delicious if it weren't so painfully barbed.)

As bullshit as their crisis management has been since their big reveal last week, it has been fun to watch the media fire shots at Microsoft’s feet and tell it to dance.