Irish Coffee - Microsoft, you dumb bastards.

I'm back baby! Slightly different stuff in the title. There's a date stamp on these things anyway. Don't know why I was typing it in manually like an old lady that licks a stamp and pastes it to her monitor before she sends an email. I was in New Orleans last weekend for a bachelor party, and, well... It was something of an event. I've only just regained my faculties (they're at about 72% charge), and the emotional damage is probably permanent, but whatever. Good times, good people, lots of alcohol. Now back to the video games. I'm going to yell at Microsoft again, because it's just so god damned easy lately.

This might sound a little unprofessional: Ahhh hahah hahah! Hahhhhh! hah! You dumb bastards!

In an attempt to yet again prove how detached they've become from the “core game market” they thought they had a grasp on and so desperately need on their side after over a week of bad press, Microsoft has officially announced that they’ll spend $1 billion on games for their next-gen, weaponized, TV stand.

I mean look at it! You could beat a man to death with the Kinect alone.

While I haven't any moral qualms with throwing money at a problem like a trust fund baby that just found a dead hooker in the trunk of his car, the real issue here is Microsoft’s industry viability moving forward. First off, one billion dollars in the scope of modern AAA development doesn’t go a long way. Modern Warfare 3 spent $300 million, all told, after an absurdly expensive advertising campaign. Granted, it’s actual budget was only $100 million, but even at that comparatively bargain basement rate, Microsoft’s big number announcement will only pay for 10 games. Hardly impressive for the life of the console.

But let’s say the money is spread out a bit. Drop money on indie titles. The kind of art house games that give the industry some much needed set dressing. Granted, it’s a bit like putting roses on the hood of a tank, but it’s better than nothing (and a topic for another day). Microsoft has certainly made it clear that their focus isn’t indie gaming. Meanwhile, Sony courts indie devs left and right, providing them with a friendlier environment. Even if Microsoft would like to get some indie devs back on their side, it’ll be quite a while before we’ll see a company-wide change in policy - such as allowing indies to self-publish on the Big Black Bocks -  significant enough to draw indie studios back to the dark side.  

"Did I say 'zero creative freedom?' I meant 'All the money. Ever.'"

Plus, indie devs are a temperamental lot, and will not work in a close minded, creatively limiting environment. “Give me money, let me make my game, leave me the fuck alone and you’ll get it when it’s done,” seems to be their mentality, and one of which Sony seems keenly aware. Also, one I can get behind. Microsoft has said recently that they’re going to have indie support on their console, but it’s clearly not a focus, and clearly not a large portion of that Big Shiny Number they put up today. Unless they want to come out and say otherwise. Until now, it's a vague "yes" that fades into cacophonous repetition of words like "integration" and "experience," and announcements that center around massive AAA titles.

Microsoft is definitely a company that pushes hard for the Bro Gamer portion of the market, and this was made no more evident than in their reveal last week. The only games shown were sports titles and Call of Duty, the only games on the beer-soaked TV stand at the average frat house. [Source: I used to sell weed to frat boys.]

Microsoft can lightly dance around this subject all they want, but everyone knows exactly what to expect. No amount of “yes, we’ll support indie devs” is going to change the reality of your big E3 “game” conference. It’s going to come up wanting. There is no way that any number of AAA titles being presented are going to outdo what we’ve seen from the more powerful and game-oriented PS4, nor are you going to convince anyone that the primary focus of the Xbone is "game console "when you came out of the gate waving your “media center” sword and screaming about integration like a prophet that stepped out of a time machine from 2006 having not realized he’d gone forward in time instead of back.

Microsoft, you've had every opportunity to make this just a little bit about video games, video gamers, and video game creators, but you've decided to dodge questions like the most teeth-grindingly frustrating of politicians and alienate the people that built the popularity of your console in the first place. (Oh the irony of mentioning that the Halo franchise built the Xbox while announcing a TV show version of it. It'd be delicious if it weren't so painfully barbed.)

As bullshit as their crisis management has been since their big reveal last week, it has been fun to watch the media fire shots at Microsoft’s feet and tell it to dance. 

Irish Coffee, April 23rd, 2013

I'm back! Last week was kind of... Well, it was kind of rough for everybody everywhere. Seemed like the world was coming apart, and I didn't really have game writing in me. I do, after all, love games enough to be really fucking angry at them half of the time, and anger was just not on the menu last week. Just a kind of thin veneer of sad. Not even depression, just sad (no, not sadness either). That said, regular service resumes today. Oh, and I made this ridiculous video as an editing exercise. The video project is coming, I swear, and it will be funny. Also, an article on The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Shinji Mikami.

Thank god for Guacamelee. After a number of a AAA titles that barely ruffled my feathers, a fifteen dollar indie game again proves that budgets don’t matter, and that gaming’s greatest pleasures can be had when we dial it back, and just have fun with the damn things.

Oh... Oh no. I think I’m turning into a game hipster. All these indies I’m so in love with: Journey, Super Meat Boy, The Unfinished Swan. That’s how it starts. Next thing you know I’ll be deriding AAA titles in my Ninja Turtle beanie while I take duck-face-self-shots of myself drinking craft beer.

NOOOO!!!

It’s too late. This is the only fate for the jaded gamer. Or maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Maybe the whole term “hipster” is just a recycled pop culture phrase from the 1930s, used as a catch-all to describe a particular set of interests. A set of interests that were never meant to be exposed to the harsh light of popularity, but have been adopted en masse by a world that uses the internet to find the best of everything. Maybe judging someone by something as shallow the content of their game collection, alcohol preference, or clothing choices isn’t going to result in an accurate representation of who they are as a person. Or maybe Allagash tastes better than Budweiser, Journey’s a better game than Bioshock Infinite, and fuck you I love my Ninja Turtle beanie.

But back to Guacamelee before I go any further off the rails. First, the small talk: Created by Drinkbox Studios, Guacamelee is a wonderfully executed Metroidvania game with extremely tight controls, a hybrid beat-em-up fight system, a well realized (if quirky) artistic style, and all the inside jokes and references expected of an independent game. (Independent games are, after all, by the fans for the fans.) Taking the role of a Juan the Luchador out to rescue The Princess from The World of the Damned, you’ll take great pleasure in body slamming skeletons with a move list the length of which normally isn’t found on this side of Final Fight. If you’re not a fan of the genre, then no need to apply, but if you are, this is best representation released in quite some time.

This is a tame screenshot. Very tame.

The sense of satisfaction and palpable sense of character control are really tying this one together. Without spoiling anything, once you’ve unlocked all of Juan the Luchador’s abilities, you’ll chain together some pretty epic combos with nothing short of a mile wide grin on your face. Buy Guacamelee, body slam some skeletons.

I’ve been thinking about something lately in reference to AAA titles, and maybe I’m wrong, but: All the flash and quicktime events and predictability are making the titles that are supposed to be the most immersive into the least immersive. I can categorically say that I felt more a part of Guacamelee’s Mexican inspired backdrop than I felt a part of Columbia in Bioshock: Infinite, or whatever-the-fuck the name of the island was in Tomb Raider. (For those keeping score, that’s one AAA title I didn’t like and one I did.)

It’s not that Guacamelee is doing anything that’s completely new itself, but there’s something about the average AAA title that’s just... Soulless, I suppose. I just feel detached from what’s happening in front of me. And while those games do give me “Holy fuck, that was badass,” moments, that’s about all they do. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Immersion is everything, and I don’t think the modern AAA title is all that immersive. They’re certainly not as immersive as a silly Metroidvania game that has more dick jokes in it than my average blog.

That idea’s not fully formed yet, I know. I have a question, but not an answer. I’ll be sure to tell you when I do.

Irish Coffee, April 13th, 2013

Promise kept! Little short today, but rife with videos, so prep your short attention spans. Absolutely gorgeous day in Charleston, and I'm going to get out of the house if it kills me. And, considering the intensity of the summer sun and my pasty French/Irish countenance, it just might. There shan't be a post tomorrow, but I shall return Monday morning. Oh, and if you haven't, check out my latest contribution to VentureBeat. TO ARMS! (Sorry, I watched The Hobbit last night.)

Sit on your hands and wait. Maybe, if you’re lucky enough, the gods on mount Gamelympus will smile upon you, and release a reboot of your favorite franchise. That was a fact of life for starry-eyed gamers as few as five years ago, but is no longer the case. Major developers and publishers, you’re officially on notice. If you don’t give us what we want, we’ll take matters into our own hands. Case in point:

That’s right, a new school Road Rash with all the trimmings. Just watching the forty-five seconds of gameplay from the beginning of their Kickstarter video put me at half mast. It seems I wasn’t alone in my cries for a reboot of this deserving franchise. I watched in horror as undeserving IP was given the new-gen treatment, all the while wondering why no one was willing to scoop up the giant pile of money that could be had with something as simple as an HD re-release of the Genesis classic.

And, for once, there’s a Kickstarter project to which I will contribute my hard earned dollars. Look out gaming world, there will be a character named Ned or Mr. Ned or King Nedrick in Road Redemption (though they really could have spent a little more time on that title). Duke Nedrick? I'm open to suggestions.

But more important than the half role of quarters in my pocket or the fact that a deserving concept is being rebooted, is the fact that Road Redemption perfectly represents the changing landscape of game publication. Designers no longer limited by platform or technology are creating the games that they want to create and that gamers actually want to play. And Road Redemption looks pretty damn good in spite of its lack of AAA money. It’s certainly no Battlefield 4, but it doesn’t need to be. All the elements of Road Rash are present and accounted for, as are the technological advancements to improve core gameplay.

The road looks pretty rough for major game developers and publishers (see what I did there?). They can scoop up indie studios all day, but in the gaming world of 2013 new developers are cropping up like weeds. Rend one from the ground and two more appear in its place. And let’s not forget about the modding community.

That is a multiplayer test of Sleeping Dogs for PC, a game that fans (myself included) thought was deserving of a multiplayer mode. So they made one. 

Gamers are crafting the future of gaming, and that’s fucking awesome. And if all of this was too upbeat for your Saturday morning, you have to understand where I’m coming from. Summer has arrived in Charleston, SC.

BRING IT, DAYSTAR!